i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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