i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
