There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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