Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I have already put on my inside pants.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
