i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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