I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
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