im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
