what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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