Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
