I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
