My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
