I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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