you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
