The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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