Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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