I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize