Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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