i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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