I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
