She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
