Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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