apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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