yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
