BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize