i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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