ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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