all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
