Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
this beer tastes like vomit already
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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