He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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