We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
