so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
