Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize