she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
