apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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