the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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