HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
