Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
