Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
