The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
