love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My liver just broke up with me...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I wish there were birth control emojis
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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