there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
