Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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