so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
