Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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