I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
then he tried to convert me to islam
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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