I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
