someone threw a dead crab at me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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