You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
