i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Vodka?
Forever.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
