OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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