Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
