4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
