recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize