Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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