Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
