you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
