A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
