don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
