P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize