I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
