Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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