We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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