Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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