I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
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