i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
